A Straight Head

I have not ever been accused of being any thing close to normal. Or sane. I'm just not. It's not that I can't be, but why? I've also never been much for conforming. I am proud of my non-conformist ways.

I'm also not type-A. I tell my dear man I am type-Z simply because that is the furthest away from type-A I could think of. I am not detailed, not in the least. I can do details just fine, but after a while my head sort of explodes and that just ain't pretty.

Just sayin'.

I also tend to drink too much coffee. Yeah, right, if there was such a thing. In some circles I am called a coffee snob. I'm picky about my coffee. But not really. There are times I'm desperate enough for coffee I'll drink anything....except instant. That junk isn't even coffee. It's like a lower life form of coffee, when it grows up, it's deepest desire is to be coffee.

Yesterday was that day for me. I went rummaging around in the kitchen and found a 4 cup coffee pot. Now, I never measure my coffee. I like it strong and I like it dark. I put about a couple of cups of ground Folgers in the pot, filled it up with water and went back to the office to wait. When it was ready, it was most definitely strong and dark. It was very very strong. It ate the bottom right out of my mug.

Okay no not really but I'm sure it could have.

Our associate pastor came into the office and he is as much a coffee snob as I am so I asked him if he had had any good coffee that morning. In reply he turned and said something I can't remember now, but his next statement was so...I don't know...odd for him to say. He looked at me and asked, "Is my head on straight?"

How exactly does one answer that? I wanted to put my hands on either side of his head and say, "I don't know. Let's see." and yank it to one side. I quickly dismissed that idea. Too dangerous. My next thought was to look contemplative for a minute and then announce, "Yes, but your tie is crooked."

I fought that urge. I choked it down. I swallowed it. I gulped it. Those words did not pass my lips...until I got home and had to relay the whole story to dear man.